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My ex boyfriend started playing wow about a year and half ago, in March 2007.
Back then, we were still dating (we had a 3 years long term relationship). The first year when he was playing wow, we were spending time mostly apart from each other ( I was finishing my BFA in LA, and he works and lives in SF the whole time). I could never tell how much time he spent on playing wow during that day when we were apart, but I knew,HE PLAYED WAY TOO MUCH.
This year, when I finally finished school and moved in with him in SF, I saw the real pattern of his life. He wouldn't eat unless I bring him food (to his computer desk), he wouldn't hang out with his friends anymore or even me(no social life AT ALL), he complained and blamed all to this country economy and prejudices, and became really really cynical. Every time I tried to talk to him in logic, he wouldn't listen. From time to time, I tried to pull him away from wow, but it never worked. This May 2008, our relationship came to an end. Lot of reasons. He broke off with me. I can't blame it to wow, but there is a thing: our relationship just went straight downhill (like a free fall) since he spend about 18 hours a day playing that game, I was never again important in his life. I spent sometimes to cool off from the break up, and now, I'm still seeing him play wow every moment he is awake, and the situation has gotten even worse............He lost basically all his friends,social life, he hates the life in the US, and himself.........
Now, as friend of his(or last one in SF...), I still deeply concern about his physical and mental health even he and I are no longer together. I didn't study psychology in college, so maybe I wasn't using the right methods to help him realizing how important is getting his normal self back on track.
Can anybody provide informations to help quit the game?
Have you ever helped a friend to quit successfully?
Any tips?
Here are his conditions:
1, He tried to uninstall the game many times, but installed it back within 1 week. He specially told me one day,that when he was a little boy, his mom had hide his games to prevent him from playing too much, and he really hated that. I had never tried to hide the install CD since then because of what he had told me about his childhood gaming story, and his obsession of playing more and more games all the way till now (he is turning 28).
2,He would occasionally wanted to quit, but could never really resist over one week.
3,He lost all his interests of networking and socializing. Recently, he had told I am his only friend. How sad....
4,I tried to get his roommates to help him, or take him out once in a while. He later told me,"they are not my real friends, they just wanted to humiliate me, because I'm such a loser who's spending all day playing game". So my effort failed.
5,He hates being in America(he was born in east coast), and he feels he is a minority in the bottom of the society, and no one respects him; he said something like white man gets all the girls, ABCs can only stay home playing video game ..... he expressed how much he wanted to go to China to start his business; the reason he is playing so much is --- he has nothing to do in this country until he escape from this "living hell".
6,I can go on for an hour.
Please... someone help me (him) figure out what to do? He was a really really loving man before. He used love to travel (we drove all the way from CA to Canada, and traveled many times to east coast),love to make new friends; He had great sense of humor. He is very smart and did awesome in college (3.9 GPA). I can't watch him like this............................................................................................
I will be really appreciate if some one offer me any tips to help me help him quit wow.
My AIM:
CrestfallenX
Thanks a lot for reading this!!
Anonymousca120 -
11/05/2008Go on his account and destroy all his items. Tell his guild and pvpteam to go fuck themselves, in game and on Vent. Then uninstall the game, and break the Cd's. Fuck him senseless for the next three months to show him how good life can be without WoW and he should be better in no time. -
11/05/2008Rofl you know that is the only way to quit WoW and see life on the brighter side.... i agree w/ ducky. destroying items and telling his guild + pvpteam to fuck themselves will pretty much ruin the game for him. breaking his cd isnt hiding it so theres no psychological attachment there. if you're hot, then yeah man fucking his brains out would make him pretty happy. so go do it and reply to this post, i wanna hear what happens next.
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11/06/2008Quitting cold turkey is not always for everyone, you can try to have him lessen the amount of hours he plays each day. Since he plays about 18 hours a day try to have him decrease the amount by one hour a day or even half and hour or one hour a week. It seems as though he is pretty addicted to the game so slowly phasing him out of the game while showing him the positive aspects of life might be better.. The two of you could always go to a club or some sort of outing together to meet new people and make new friends since you said his current friends are not genuine. -
11/06/2008Its not possible. WOW is beyond normal drug rehab techniques. You can never slowly phase out of WOW. You only phase IN for every moment you're on it.
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11/06/2008Is there a 'Gamers anonymous' like AA? -
Anonymous1642c11/07/2008my ex has a similar problem but she hasn't degenerated that far yet. The only reason for that is the fact that her old computer couldn't handle WOW so now she is stuck on vaperda (I'm not sure I spelt that right) WOW is like the heroin of games. Another one of my friends actualy had to get medical help for his problem because he got so absorbed into his games that he would forget to sleep (his longest was about 50 hrs straight give or take a couple of hrs he would have went longer but his girlfriend threw his system out the window when she went to check on him) Your ex sounds like he is using WOW as an escape and is either a: depressed b: scared to face reality or c: both my advice is get him to see help before the games aren't enough
I know i sound like i'm over reacting but i believe that he could use the help -
Anonymous1642c11/07/2008Vaperdia is the name of the game
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Anonymous1642c11/08/2008go on vacation, someplace that has no internet or electronics. In South Korea there are these camps for kids who are addicted to the internet and gaming. The kids are forced to interact, play sports and socialize with other kids; making them slowly realize there are things beside the internet and gaming.
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11/08/2008hes turning 28. obviously he isnt going to voluntarily shove himself in some gaming rehab or else there wouldnt be this problem in the first place.
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11/09/2008i am somewhat like him- i love to play games, but all my systems were too old to play the newer stuff. i play Vaperida as my main game, and i have wanted to play WOW for years now, i just don't have the right system's to play it.
a few things to try [yes, some of it is repeated from other posts]:
- try to get him to limit the amount played per day- with WOW it may take a few months, nothing will happen over night with his level of addition.
- introduce other things - try to stay away from electronic game because that is where the main problem is- sports, board games, club activities like rec leagues, ect.
- he may need to see someone if he has depression- meds will help IF he is willing to stay with it- it took me almost 2 years to go and see someone for depression, and i am on meds and they have helped me a lot- i want to do things with friends because i get bored faster with repetitious activities.
hope that these idea's and other will help you. don't go the sex route, it will just make it worse. -
Anonymous1642c11/09/2008sounds like a friend of mine, he works and plays wow nonstop. whenever he's not doing one he's doing another. I used to play alot but got too busy with my job and finishing my degree. now very rarely do I play or even turn it on.
plus sounds like this dude needs to get laid. dress up like a night elf haha. -
Anonymous1642c11/09/2008dude the first piece of advice was the best, like ducky said, there's no slowly phasing out, just destroy his shit so he cannot play anymore... once he stops that shit he'll first feel fucked up cus he isnt receiving his dose of WOW but soon after i guarantee he'll feel a load off his chest. seriously like a weight has been lifted... and also, yeah, dress up like a night elf rofl....
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Anonymousb5a7e11/11/2008Listen closely as I appear to the public only once every two thousand years...
Run... run, far, far away or I will turn you to a pillar of salt. You CANNOT change him. YOU are the one who needs the help. Here, let me put that in a different size for you...
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO NEEDS THE HELP.
Why? Because there are BILLIONS of people in this world and most of the DON'T play WOW yet you somehow not only chose this one, but you chose to ignore the signs, and now you are so addicted to your low self-esteem that you are willing to embark upon a multi-year journey to rescue HIM on behalf of THE RELATIONSHIP and, the truth is, you will just bring untold misery on yourself and those who love you on your addictive journey to martyrdom.
Case in point -- try to put yourself in the shoes of someone who loves YOU writing a post on another forum just like this with the question, 'HOW DO I GET MY DAUGHTER/FRIEND/SISTER TO QUIT THIS GUY ADDICTED TO WOW? WE WANT HER BACK! WE MISS HER! BUT SHE JUST GOES AROUND POSTING ON FORUMS AND ASKING STRANGERS HOW TO MAKE HER ADDICT BOYFRIEND CHANGE!!!'
Sounds kind of desperate, and pathetic... LIKE YOU!
Get away and get some help IF YOU CAN. If you can't, then I'll simply pray you have as soft a landing as possible. -
11/11/2008^^^ that response was from me. -
11/11/2008inebritate him and give him a blowjob. throw him on bed and fuck him off. then he wont go for the game again, you'll be his funtime.
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Anonymousb5a7e11/11/2008Stage an intervention, contact his family and friends. You've already lost him, so you have nothing to lose. He is behaviorally dependent on immersion into a fantasy world where none of his demons can be faced, and therefore things will not get better for him.
Part of quitting WoW is:
1) Realizing that the game play never changes. New content really doesn't change the basis of the game.
2) Friendships in game pale in comparison to the value of friendships/family in real life.
3) Many people playing the game are inconsiderate and enjoy wasting his time.
4) It effects his health because it affects his eating habits, his sleeping habits.
5) There is a lot of anger and frustration caused by this game.
6) He is avoiding facing his demons by spending so much time in an alternate world, and life is about movement.
Encourage him to sell all his items and give his gold to a passing noob before deleting the character, because deleted characters can be restored. Help him find new hobbies, go on a trip, and generally keep him distracted until his behavioral dependence fades.
If he refuses to give it up, tell him to call you when he is done with it for over a month, and move on with your life. -
Anonymous1642c11/12/2008This is what I suggest you to do. Seems like you can't take away his WoW right away. Try getting him to play less without him noticing. Say he plays 18 hours a day. Cut it by 15 minutes a day and he won't even notice. As he starts cutting minutes and hours, decrease it to 10 or 5 minutes so it won't be too obvious, or change it up a bit so he won't catch on. It's the same thing with any addiction, you have to work it piece by piece to get rid of it.
And go have sex with him. Don't tell me he refused because getting to the next level was more important lol?
Digg id: crazlunatic -
Anonymous1642c11/12/2008If your boyfriend prefers wow over you... that means you suck.
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Anonymous1642c11/12/2008Insert with where WoW is. Addiction is the same. Nice timing on the article though, I am sure you were not riding on the coat tails of the expansion or anything for page hits.
WoW/MMO addiction. It is interesting because it is 'new.' But it isn't new, and it is not different then any other addiction. You got your hit though, and I was one of them, so congrats. -
Anonymous1642c11/12/2008He broke up with you. Go away.
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Anonymous1642c11/12/2008Your boyfriend is a social degenerate. Why are you dating him?
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Anonymous1642c11/12/2008Just take a trip to somewhere and let him forget about the game.
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Anonymous1642c11/12/2008here is what you do, GET OVER IT. Go get a freaking hobby rather than riding your bf's ass about it.
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Anonymous1642c11/12/2008Give him constant blow jobs, alcohol, and sex
Also allow him to have sex with other women, and invite other women to have threesomes! -
Anonymous1642c11/12/2008Get him to go to a therapist. This 'addiction' is probably only a manifestation of depression or something deeper (isn't lack of eating and withdrawing from people sort the the number 1 and 2 signs of depression). So to get him from stop gaming is sort of only treating symptom and not the disease.
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